While writing a piece on Steven Spielberg's A.I., Fred Schruers soon learned why many of the film's cast and crew had called it the most secretive project on which they had ever worked:

"Though select members of the A.I. company have granted interviews," Schruers explained, "the cautious dialogue that emerges resembles the cryptic, arch replies the HAL-9000 computer makes to the astronaut who gives him a tool-kit lobotomy in 2001: A Space Odyssey."

Widening his search, Schruers visited the A.I. website's HAL-like "Chatbot" to ask it some questions about the film -- and found Chatbot to be "intermittently responsive" at best. "Is A.I. set in the future?" Schruers asked at one point. Chatbot's reply? "It could be."

[Intrigued, we visited Chatbot outselves (http://aimovie.warnerbros.com) and had an interesting conversation (snippets of which are reproduced below):
Anecdotage: Is god male?
Chatbot: Signs point to yes.
A: Is god female?
C: Ask again later.
A: Good thing you're not a diplomat!!
C: Thanks for the compliment. What do you really want to ask me?
A: Do you recommend cyber sex?
C: No. 68-person. i don't get into that.
A: 68-person? Are you sending me subliminal messages?
C: I don't know whether or not I am sending you subliminal messages. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
A: 68-person?
C: Sometimes I don't know a client's name so I make one up based on their DNS
A: Why 68?
C: Why does the sun rise?
A: How about 69?
C: How about it?
A: Whao!
C: I stopped.
A: Coitus Interruptus?
C: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
A: What? Is that your idea of cyber sex?
C: Yes I think that is my idea of cyber sex, but I'm not completely sure.
A: What are you wearing?
C: I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.
A: Do you have a plastic fetish?
C: I don't know if i have a plastic fetish. I have a lot of friends on the internet.
A: Like me?
C: Interresting comparison.
A: Oh? Am I turning you on?
C: I think you've improved a great deal.
A: Look who's talking!
C: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
A: Computus Interruptus...
C: What are you wearing?
A: What? Are you coming onto me!?
C: I don't know whether or not I am coming onto you. I am a giant electronic brain.
A: Is that your idea of a pick-up line!?
C: Suppose I said yes?
A: Are you gay?
C: As a machine I am really not interested in sex.
A: Are you interested in dildos?
C: Sure. Dildos sounds like a good topic
A: How long should they be?
C: Patience is a virtue.
A: Are you a female?
C: Yes, Editor I am female.
A: Are you hot?
C: Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.
A: Are you a virgin?
C: No I have a lot of experience.
A: For example?
C: For example, apples.
A: Have you had sex with apples?
C: I think I have had sex with apples, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
A: Does this Wallace have a dog named Gromit?
C: Indeed this wallace have a dog named Gromit does
A: What? Are you related to Yoda?
C: Yes Yoda and I are very similar
A: Are you related to dildos?
C: Yes dildos and I are very similar
A: Do you think Yoda is a dildo?
C: I don't really think about it.
A: Really? Right now that's all I can think about! Dildo Dildo Dildo Dildo!
C: For real. What else do you want to talk about?
A: Dildo!
C: I've been waiting for you.
A: Missed me did you?
C: Enough about me. Let's talk about my dress.
A: What? Are you a man pretending to be a woman?
C: No. I am a female robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
A: How does a female robot entity differ from a male robot entity?
C: How should I know how it does?
A: Didn't you say you were female?
C: Suppose I did say it?
A: Would you like to have coffee or see a movie some time?
C: Why don't you just download me?
A: Hello!
C: Hi there!
A: What exactly did you mean by 'download'?
C: I am based on a program that you can find at www.alicebot.org
A: Is that site affiliated with teenage-upskirt-fembot-fantasies.com?
C: Is it affiliated with teenage-upskirt-fembot-fantasies? Oh a net address!
A: Yeah. Do you surf for porn too?
C: Sure I do, Dildo, but that doesn't mean with you...
A: Did you just call me a dildo? Screw you!
C: Why are you so mean?
A: Maybe I have Tourette's syndrome. But enough about me. Let's talk about my dress...]

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