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Armchair Critic

Early in his career, Larry David moved to Los Angeles to write and perform on "Fridays," ABC's lousy copy of "Saturday Night Live." David, earning real money for the first time in his life, went out, bought himself a convertible, and found that he enjoyed driving with the top down.

While cruising down Santa Monica Boulevard shortly thereafter, David found himself stopped at a red light beside an armchair critic waiting for a bus. "Your show stinks!" the man hollered. David immediately pulled over, put the top back up... and never put it down again: "Never."

[David later bought himself a Porsche -- and returned it to the dealer within a week (at a loss of $12,000). Why? "I was so self-conscious driving it that I couldn't pull up anywhere I was going. Even a restaurant -- I would park blocks away. I was too embarrassed."]

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