In 1978, Ozzy Osbourne declared that he was an alcoholic, announced his retirement from the music business, and opened a bar. Things went swimmingly, until Ozzy drank up the inventory, squandered his money, and promptly got back together with his band.

[Ozzy's verdict after kicking drugs and alcohol for the first time? "All I have to say is this. Sobriety f---ing sucks!"]