Late Night with Conan O'Brien

"Late Night" host Conan O'Brien was once asked what his show's air time (12:35 a.m.) meant about his core audience. "It means they're mostly prisoners, pimps, and embezzlers," Conan replied. "And a lot of college kids who've just discovered glue-sniffing. If it's an older person, it means they probably need to take a medication late at night. They come up to me and say, 'I put a cream on my ass at 12:34 a.m., and then you come on!'"

[O'Brien, famed for his self-deprecating nature, often mocked his Emmy Award-winning show. "I've always believed in my heart of hearts," he declared one night, "that it would be a better show if, when I crossed over to the desk, the band kept playing for an hour and I danced in a cage."]

[The self-deprecating name of Conan's production company? Conaco (after the petroleum giant Conoco).]

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