"I only had success one time. The name I used was Edward Quartermaine, the guy from General Hospital. I said, 'This is Edward Quartermaine. How are you doin' out there today?' It was a whole script. He was from the South, and you talk about pork and stuff like that, and I hooked him. He said, 'Okay, I'm in! And the grandfather clock?' I said, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah.' 'The trip to Greece?' I said, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah.' And then I gave it up. I said, 'Listen, the grandfather clock is made of cardboard. It's a piece of shit, and you'll never get the trip to Greece -- it won't happen. So f--- it, it was nice talking to you. And he said, 'Okay!'"
[Depp was still selling pens when Nicolas Cage suggested that he try acting. He met with an agent and, on his first audition, got a part in Nightmare on Elm Street. He dropped out of his band (Rock City Angels) -- and soon learned that they had signed a $6.2 million-dollar record contract with Geffen for seven albums -- "the biggest deal out in L.A. since Madonna's." Fortunately, Depp's acting career took off...]