Bill Maher: Diamonds are Forever

"Women think about diamonds the way men think about sex, the way leeches think about blood," Bill Maher once remarked. "But diamonds have a lot of blood on them, even without the terrorist connection... because diamonds are mined in Africa by rebel armies, and the rebel armies control the territory and make the villagers mine the diamonds,and they control them through terror, through such lovely things as cutting off the arms of the little children -- something you never see in the De Beers commercials.

"Now, I told this to a woman recently, who was only about the nicest person I've ever met -- but she is a woman. And I told her about Africa and the armies and the rebels and the terror and the cutting off the arms of the little children. And she looked up at me with a little sad face and said, 'Both arms?'"

["I swear to god that's a true story."]

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