When the Monica Lewinsky scandal first broke, President Bill Clinton famously assured the nation that "there is no sexual relationship." When DNA evidence clearly pointed to the existence of a past sexual relationship, Clinton, a former lawyer, trotted out a novel argument: The truth of his "sexual relationship" statement depends, he said, "on what your definition of 'is' is."

Some time later, journalists asked several people what they thought about Clinton's sexual semantics -- among them Scarlett Thomas, a waitress at Champs Sports Bar & Grill in Oak Brook Terrace, Illinois. "By the time he finishes defining," she exclaimed, "I think I'll learn that I'm actually a virgin!"

[According to research by Georgia State University professor James M. Dobbs, high testosterone levels are found in juvenile delinquents, bullies, dropouts -- and trial lawyers.]