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George Brown: State Gala

"One of George Brown's drunker moments as Foreign Secretary found him staggering into a State gala in Rio more than an hour after it had officially begun.

"The best way of absorbing himself into the assembly and evading the rigours of diplomatic conversation, he woozily decided, would be to get straight on to the dance floor. Lurching up to a vision in dark red, he mumbled, 'Would you care to dance, Madam?'

"'I will not dance with you,' the vision in dark red replied, 'for three reasons. Firstly you are drunk. Secondly, the band is playing the National Anthem. And thirdly I am the Bishop of Montevideo.'"

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