Retirement Home Comedy

After learning that the state of Massachusetts would pay comedians ten dollars to do so, Jay Leno and another performer named Bob Shaw (who later went on to write several "Seinfeld" episodes) began performing at various retirement homes and prisons.

Leno: "I remember one old people's home, where we had gone to play for a woman's ninetieth birthday. We set up in the rec room, and the little old woman was wheeled in to watch us. The nurse told her, 'Bessie, we have these nice comedians here for you today!' She gave a big smile and Shaw started his material, which was always a little blue, in the vein of Lenny Bruce. And, on that day, his jokes kept getting dirtier and dirtier. The old woman was visibly quaking -- and repulsed.

"'Well, Bessie,' Shaw was saying, 'have you heard about the new laxative on the market now! Supposed to be great! It's called Nepo Eloh, which if spelled backwards is Open Hole!'

"At that moment, Bessie leaped from her wheelchair, grabbed Shaw by the throat, and started throttling him. 'Enough! Enough!' she screamed. She looked like a little rag doll, her legs and arms flying in all directions. It took two orderlies to get her off Shaw and back into the wheelchair. But I guess there was some good news: Before this, nobody thought she would walk again."

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