Bastard Censors

At the culmination of Joseph Kesselring's Arsenic and Old Lace, Mortimer Brewster learns that he is illegitimate (and thus mercifully unrelated to the family of imbeciles featured in the piece) and exclaims: "Thank God I'm a bastard!" Wary of the Hollywood censors, however, Cary Grant (as Brewster) was to utter the play's classic punch line in Frank Capra's 1944 screen adaptation. The substituted line? "Thank God I'm the son of a sea cook!"
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