David Letterman, who -- like many comedians -- often found the task of producing a constant stream of humor rather exhausting, occasionally sought enlightenment in unlikely places. Asked by a clerk in a pastry shop what he wanted in his coffee one day, Letterman indicated a balloon-filling machine behind the counter and replied: "Helium!"

["There's a new law in West Hollywood," Jay Leno reported in January 2000. "When you buy a cup of coffee, they have to give you a condom. What are they stirring the coffee with? And watch the creamer!"]

["Scientists at the University of Chicago decided to test the theory that coffee is a sleep preventative. The subjects of the experiment were given coffee one night, and then the next night, at the same hour, they were given milk. All went to sleep faster the second night. They were positive that the coffee the first night had kept them awake. They weren't told that the milk had been spiked with three times as much caffeine as was in the coffee."]