"And then, we're in the kitchen, I was in the kitchen, 'cause you know, everyone always ends up in the kitchen at parties. And, there were a bunch of us there, but we were off in a corner, you know, getting that thing going, working that thing.
"Uh, and then I noticed that she had this little booger on her nose. So, I didn't want to say, cause she was real pretty, you know... If it was my friend I would have said, 'Hey Bill you got a big booger on your nose!' But this was a pretty girl so I didn't want to say 'Hey, you're looking good and all, but you got a big booger on your nose.'
"So I said, 'You have something here. You got something here,' you know. So, she went like this, and then she had this big old booger. She had this big-ass-cross-the-nose-two-year-old-nightmare booger. Swimming pool green booger."
Matthews solution? "I did what any good citizen would do: I grabbed that booger! I just said WHAM! And I put that s--- under the kitchen counter, I was like yeah, got rid of that nasty booger!"
[Matthews, noted for his concert banter, shared this tale with a sizable audience.]