English as She is Spoke

Undeterred by his limited grasp of the English language, Pedro Carolino once wrote an English-Portuguese phrasebook: The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English (now reprinted asEnglish as She is Spoke).

"We expect then," Carolino declares in a preface, "who the little book (for the care what we wrote him, and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the acceptation of the studious persons, and especially of the youth, at which we dedicate him particularly."

The book kicks off with some 'Familiar Phrases' certain to be of use to Portuguese travelers:

Dress your hairs
This hat go well
Exculpate me by your brother's
She make the prude
Do you cut the hairs?
He has tost his all good...

The next section, 'Familiar Dialogues,' contains such subsections as 'For to wish the good morning,' 'For to visit a sick,' and 'For to ride a horse,' which begins:

"Here is a horse who have bad looks. Give me another. I will not that. He not sall know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered. Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? He is undshoed, he is with nails up."

The book also contains a number of useful 'Idiotisms and Proverbs':

Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss
A take is better than two you shall have
The stone as roll not heap up not foam
The dog than bark not bite...

How, one wonders, did Carolino manage so to mangle the English language with a simple Portuguese-English dictionary? Alas, Carolino did not have a simple Portuguese-English dictionary. He did, however, have a Portuguese-French dictionary, and a French-English dictionary...

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