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"There is a wonderful story of Queen Victoria at Windsor," Prince Michael of Kent once told The Sunday Telegraph, "when she was sitting next to a deaf old admiral, who was telling an endless story of a battleship that had sunk and later been towed into Portsmouth. The Queen, anxious to change the subject, asked him about his sister. Mishearing her, he replied: 'I am going to have her turned over, take a good look at her bottom and have it scraped.' The Queen 'put down her knife and fork, hid her face in her handkerchief and shook and heaved with laughter until the tears rolled down her face.'"
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