Philadelphia 76ers forward Darryl Dawkins -- the so-called "Professor of Interplanetary Funkmanship" -- once made an extraordinary vow of silence. Dawkins then sought to explain the vow's significance to a group of sportswriters: "Nothing means nothing," he declared, "but it isn't really nothing, because nothing is something that isn't."
[Dawkins later claimed to hail from the planet Lovetron, where his girlfriend, Juicy Lucy, had a condo. "Lovetron was a planet in my mind," he recalled. "One million-billion light years from here, that you couldn't go to unless I took you."]