The sports writer John Kieran was once invited to address a Latin class at an exclusive prep school (as a favor to the football coach). The headmaster introduced him to the class, adding for the boys' benefit (in Latin): "Let's make the best of this ordeal."

Thereupon Kieran stood up, bowed to the headmaster, and began: "Gentlemen," he said, "the only thing that outraged me more than the boorishness of the man who introduced me was his inexcusable use of the present participle instead of the past pluperfect in the quotation."

He then proceeded to deliver his entire speech in impeccable Latin before stalking from the room.