insults

#insults

716 posts
0 followers
Edit Tag
716 posts
36 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
Alfred North Whitehead on a chemist's election at Harvard
When, in 1933, Alfred North Whitehead expressed surprise that James Bryant Conant—an organic chemist—had been elected president of Harvard, he was reminded by a colleague that the great Charles W. Eliot (president from 1869-1909) had also been a chemist. "Ah," Whitehead replied, "but he was a bad chemist."
16 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
Ava Gardner Insults Mia Furrow
Ava Gardner was not pleased about ex-husband Frank Sinatra's involvement with the teenaged Mia Farrow. "I always knew," she once declared, "that Frank would end up in bed with a boy."  [After their divorce, Sinatra kept a statue of Ava from The Barefoot Contessa in his backyard garden—until Barbara Marx (his new wife) forced him to get rid of it.]
30 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
Professor John Berdan - This Theme Is Incredibly Bad
One morning while teaching English composition at Yale University, John Berdan read a particularly awful sample to his class, which critiqued it unmercifully. "Interesting," Berdan remarked. "I wrote the theme myself... You are quite right. This theme is incredibly bad. I spent two hours of painstaking effort last night to make sure I had not omitted a single feature of poor writing, and I believe I succeeded," he continued, pausing for effect. "What astounds me is how you men can dash these things off day after day in ten minutes!"
21 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
Isaac Barrow & The Earl Of Rochester - Yours To The Ground
One day at the court of Charles II, Isaac Barrow (then serving as the king's chaplain) encountered the Earl of Rochester, who had once called the clergyman "a musty old piece of divinity." "Doctor, I am yours to my shoe-tie," the Earl declared with a sarcastic bow. "My lord," Barrow replied, "I am yours to the ground." "Doctor, I am yours to the center." "My lord, I am yours to the antipodes." "Doctor, I am yours to the lowest pit of hell." "And there, my lord," said Barrow, turning on his heel, "I leave you."
25 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
Thomas Hart Benton - Figurative Threats
One of Missouri Senator Thomas Hart Benton's political rivals, Mississippi Senator Henry S. Foote, threatened to write "a little book" in which he would "figure very largely." "Tell Foote," Benton replied, "that I will write a very large book in which he shall not figure at all."
31 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
David Hartman's Commercial Break Blooper
"We'll be right back," Good Morning America host David Hartman announced during a commercial break one morning, "after this word from General Fools..."
29 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
John Randolph - Passing Your House
John Randolph was once approached by an admirer, who declared, "I have had the pleasure of passing your house recently." "I am glad of it," Randolph replied. "I hope you will always do, sir."
27 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
House of Commons
Andrew Faulds Insults An Honourable Member
"In the House of Commons in 1967," Norman Moss recalls in The Observer, "the debate on David Steele's Abortion Bill was droning on when Norman St John Stevas, a dogged opponent of legalised abortion, launched into a speech moving an amendment. Andrew Faulds, who had been elected to the House only a year earlier, fidgety and fed up with this rearguard action, rose to intervene. He asked the Speaker, 'Is it in order for an honourable member to delay this necessary social measure when he has not the capacity to put a bun in anybody's oven?' "This produced as much of an uproar as the scattering of exhausted members could muster. R.G. Grant-Ferris complained that the words were 'Offensive, gross ...
29 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
Irwin Shaw - Slowww Service
After waiting an absurdly long time for a waiter to take his order in a French restaurant one day, the writer Irwin Shaw was finally approached by the maitre d', who politely informed him that snails were the specialty of the house. "I know," he replied, "and you've got them dressed as waiters."
24 views
0 comments
0 points
0 favorites
Dane Iorg Vs The San Diego Chicken
"Some players are born to give you the red ass," Ted Giannoulas (the San Diego Chicken) once remarked. "One time there was a Padre, Dane Iorg, who was normally a mild-mannered player. But he starts yelling at me, 'Get off the field!' Everyone was laughing at first, but then everyone's jaws dropped: Is he really giving the Chicken the razz? I told him, 'You're just upset because I'm getting more playing time than you are!'"