insults

#insults

819 posts
0 followers
22 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
Mick Jagger - Mick's Manhood
In August 2005, as the Stones kicked off a world tour to promote their new album, Keith Richards revealed a surprising tidbit about Mick Jagger's manhood: "His cock's on the end of his nose," he said, "and a very small one at that. Huge balls, small cock. Ask Marianne Faithfull." The name of the album (and the tour)? A Bigger Bang. [Keith later apologised and offered an "explanation" via a spokesman: "He was trying to be complimentary and ended appearing offensive... He did say that Mick had big balls as in he admired him because he was gutsy and courageous. How would he know anything about the size of his willy?"]
41 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
When Cher Tried To Be Polite While Discussing Madonna
During a talk show appearance one day, Cher was asked what she thought about Madonna. For a moment Cher demurred, "trying to think of what to say that would be polite..."  "I think," Cher finally said, "she's kind of a c-nt." 
41 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
House of Commons
When Jack Jones Was Bored By A Parliamentary Speech
"Jack Jones, the Labour member for Silvertown always has something to say, and says it with punch, point and drive," Naomi Jacob writes in Me: A Chronicle About Other People. "Some old bore in the House was making a long dry-as-dust speech, and saying, 'What would be necessary for the purpose of this experiment would be a moratorium and -' At that moment Jack Jones could stand it no longer. He shouted, 'Moratorium! We don't want a moratorium. What we want is a crematorium, and you ought to be in it!'"
42 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
Princess Diana - Big Head
During the Live Aid concert in 1986, organizer Bob Geldof found himself showing a group, including Prince Charles, Princess Diana and a TV camera crew, around backstage. At one point, Geldof took the group into a room to look at a map of Africa. "A kid said to the Princess, 'Your head's much bigger than it looks on the telly,'" he later recalled. "'Don't worry,' she responded, laughing. There's nothing in it.'"
21 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
Gridiron Club, DC
Al Franken And Amy Klobuchar Tell Ted Cruz A Ted Cruz Joke
Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar once wrote a joke about humorless Texas Senator Ted Cruz for a press dinner at the Gridiron Club. "It was soon after the Carnival Cruise had gone out to sea," Al Franken later recalled, "and the engine died and all the electricity went out and it was stuck out there for like 10 days and was known as the 'poop cruise' because nothing [no toilets] worked and… stuff was floating by you… "So she wrote this joke, which is: 'When most people think of a bad cruise, they think of Carnival; we think of Ted.' … So before the gridiron, I see Amy going over to Chuck Schumer, and then I see her going over someone ...
32 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
John Bel Edwards & Donald Trump - God Bless His Heart
In November 2019, despite a strenuous effort by President Donald Trump to turn the race into a referendum on impeachment, John Bel Edwards clinched a 51-49% victory over Eddie Rispone to earn a second term as governor of Louisiana. Edwards, the only Democrat in the Republican Deep South to hold his state's top office, tried hard not to antagonise Trump. "A day after the election," The Economist reported, "he told Tyler Bridges of the Times-Picayune and the Advocate that he had avoided paying attention to the president's appearances in the state for fear it would cause him to say something intemperate. He allowed himself one dig on election night. 'God bless his heart,' he said of Mr Trump, to a ...
42 views
1 point
0 comments
0 favorites
Katharine Hepburn - 30 Takes For George Cukor
Katharine Hepburn had some difficulty working with director George Cukor on Little Women (1933). On one occasion, after Cukor demanded a 30th take of a certain scene, Hepburn grew so tired and frustrated that she literally vomited. Cukor's response? "Well," he drily remarked, "that's what I think of the scene too."
30 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
George Melly Mocks Mick Jagger's Wrinkles
While attending a party one evening, the jazz singer George Melly was introduced to Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger.  "I didn't expect you to have so many wrinkles," Melly remarked.  "They're not wrinkles," said Jagger. "They're laughter lines."  "Really?" said Melly. "Surely nothing could be that funny." 
14 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
Ivory Coast
When Michael Jackson Held His Nose In Ivory Coast
Michael Jackson once visited a village in Ivory Coast. After being crowned "King of Sanwis," Michael Jackson caused a furor by holding his nose for the entire trip. "Under no circumstances would we be here," he declared through a spokesman, "if we thought your country smelled."
32 views
0 points
0 comments
0 favorites
Palmerston Exchanges Compliments With A Frenchman
"If I were not a Frenchman," Lord Palmerston was once gallantly told, "I should wish to be an Englishman." "If I were not an Englishman I should wish," he obligingly replied, "to be an Englishman."