sarcasm

#sarcasm

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Charles William Eliot & Harvard University - A Storehouse Of Knowledge
At a dinner held in his honor one evening, Harvard president Charles W. Eliot was regaled by toasts from several professors. "Since you became president," one colleague enthused, "Harvard has become a storehouse of knowledge.""What you say is true, but I can claim little credit for it," Eliot replied. "It is simply that the freshmen bring so much in and the seniors take so little away!" [The original admission requirements for Harvard required that scholars be "able to understand Tully, or such like classical author, extempore and make and speak true Latin in verse and prose, and decline perfectly the paradigms of nouns and verbs in the Greek tongue." ]
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Mike Myers Meets An English Heckler
After moving to England in 1984, 21-year-old Mike Myers met a local comedian, Neil Mullarkey. Soon they were cutting their teeth, performing standup, as "Mullarkey and Myers," in tiny venues on the outskirts of London. Myers, a polite Canadian, had trouble getting used to English audiences. "British pub crowds," he recalls in his memoir, Canada, "wouldn't politely applaud; they wouldn't even just boo you off the stage. They were more creative than that: sometimes they would hum you off the stage, or sing you off the stage. "One time, I was sarcastically encouraged off the stage, with one prick being particularly adept… In a loud, interrupting voice, he would say such haunting things as, 'You're doing a great job, Mike! ...
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Conceptual Artists Stih & Frieder's Proposal For 9/11
Following the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, the Berlin-based conceptual artists Renata Stih and Frieder Schnock suggested draping in black all of New York's buildings and monuments which had been designed by foreigners. They also suggested sending the Statue of Liberty back to France. "Suppose," Stih mused philosophically, "they refuse to accept it?"  [Stih and Frieder also protested Peter Eisenman's Holocaust memorial in Berlin (five acres of jutting stone slabs), suggesting the erection of an "anti-monument": a simple WWII-era bus shelter, complete with an authentic timetable outlining the regular stops—including Nazi death camps.]
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James Corden Responds To Bill Maher's Fat-shaming
In September 2019, "Real Time" host Bill Maher went on a rant about the value of fat-shaming. "We have gone to this weird place where fat is good," he said. Maher's words prompted an immediate backlash, led by comedian James Corden, who delivered a scathing eight-minute rebuttal on "The Late Late Show." "I've struggled my entire life trying to manage my weight and I suck at it," he confessed. "We're not all as lucky as Bill Maher, you know? We don't all have a sense of superiority that burns thirty-five thousand calories a day..."
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Notorious Comment
In 1946, a double-amputee World War II veteran named Howard Russell (who had lost both arms while on duty) won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as Homer Parrish in William Wyler's The Best Years of Our Lives. Cary Grant was miffed. Not only had he not won for his role as T.R. Devlin in Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious; he had not even won a nomination. His response to Russell's victory? "Where can I get a stick of dynamite?" [In 1970, Grant was given an honorary Oscar.]
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How Winston Churchill Handled A Stolen Salt Shaker
At a dinner for Commonwealth dignitaries one evening, British PM Winston Churchill was approached by the chief of protocol and quietly informed that one of the distinguished guests had slipped a silver salt shaker into his pocket.  At the end of the meal, Churchill gingerly approached the offender and produced the matching pepper shaker from his own pocket. "Oh, dear, we were seen," he said. "Perhaps we had both better put them back." 
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David Blaine: Cheesy Stunt
David once spent 62 hours entombed in ice in Times Square as "the world's ONLY LIVING ICE CUBE." Though many were impressed with the stunt, rival magician Noah Kelly was not among them. While sitting in the bath one day, Kelly had a "Eureka!" moment. "I was thinking how cheesy [David's stunt] was," he recalled, "and I thought I could do it surrounded by cheese." Sure enough, in March 2003, Kelly and his laptop were encased in 16 giant blocks of cheese in an English mall. The cheese? Cathedral City's aged cheddar: "This is an endurance test and I hope to test my body," Kelly courageously announced. "I'm not going to wimp out and use a mild cheese!" [Kelly, a ...
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Theater Mgr Lilian Baylis Discourages Romance
The famed theater manager Lilian Baylis vehemently discouraged romances between performers in her companies. When a young actor and actress visited her office hand in hand one day, Baylis ignored them for some time before looking up from her desk. "Well," she finally asked, "what is it?" "We're in love, Miss Baylis," the actor tentatively began, "and we—ah—want to get married." "Go away," Baylis barked. "I haven't got time to listen to gossip!"
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When Marie Antoinette Fell Of A Donkey
Marie Antoinette found life with Louis in general and court etiquette in particular tiring and frequently embarked on various excursions. To the profound disgust of the older ladies at court, she often took donkey rides in the Bois de Boulogne. One day her mount tripped and queen and donkey were both thrown to the ground. The queen, unharmed, remained where she had landed, laughing hysterically. Finally able to speak, she summoned the grand mistress of ceremonies, who presented herself before the queen with significant hauteur. "Madame," the queen said from her spot on the ground, "I have sent for you to ask you to instruct me regarding the etiquette to be followed when the Queen of France and her ...
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Kurt Cobain Spoofs News Reports That He Was Dying
On August 30, 1992, Nirvana played a show in the Reading Festival which Rolling Stone's Michael Azerrad later called the greatest concert he had ever seen. Nirvana manager Danny Goldberg later recalled how Kurt Cobain, who was battling a heroin addiction, began the show by spoofing news reports that he was close to dying.Kurt had a wheelchair brought to the stage area and sat in it wearing a long blond wig and hospital robe. Brookes [Anton Brookes, Nirvana's press officer] says, "Kurt asked me to push him out in the wheelchair and I said no f—ing way am I going on-stage in front of seventy to eighty thousand people. Everett overheard us and of course said he would do it." ...