For a New Years concert in 1973, Bette Midler planned to surprise fans by hiding joints under the venue's 1,800 seats. Midler rolled all day before getting cold feet and scrapping the plan.

Roman officials confiscated a nativity scene from Peru whose customs form described it as a "unique artwork." It sure was. The figures were all carved from pure cocaine.

A Milwaukee alderman lost a fortune in stolen campaign signs reading: "Vote for Pat Stoner."

While touring Europe in the '80s, whenever the Velvet Underground's van approached a border, singer Nico, in full view of her bandmates, stashed heroin in her colon in a lubricated condom.

Cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar made so much money that his budget included $2,500 a month for rubber bands to wrap his cash.

A Philippine drug dealer's lawyer told a court that 67 kilos of coke found in a chicken cage did not belong to his client. "The drugs were in the possession of a rooster and two hens," he said, "and the law is very clear that whoever is in possession of the drugs is the one who should be accused." The court disagreed.

In 2015, South African scientists found traces of cannabis on pipes unearthed in William Shakespeare's garden.

To curb Judy Garland's appetite while making The Wizard of Oz, MGM's Louis B. Mayer limited her to black coffee and chicken soup + pills and 80 cigarettes a day.

In 2013, Belgian researchers tested some books in the Antwerp Library for microbes. All of the Top 10 most borrowed books, including Fifty Shades of Grey, contained traces of cocaine.

In Hamburg, John Lennon, out of his mind on booze and drugs, peed from a balcony onto some nuns in the street below.